A Talking Cat Might Not Be So Great

A cat might talk but well we listen.

Also, remember the story Tobermory by Saki. In the short story about a man teaches the cat Tobermory to speak the cat then tells everyone secret and is found dead the next day.

To read the spoiler after "In the short story about a", highlight.

Psychotic Hobos

I'm Dreaming of a Nerd Christmas

slashdot has a story on the engineering of Santa Claus, The Science of Santa. It is a discussion based on a New Scientist article, The Science of Santa. And based on the book, The Truth about Santa. The article and nook are both written by Gregory Mone.

There are some amusing comments on slashdot.

yanyan provides a link to a previous calculations of Santa, Santa Claus: an Engineering Analysis.

girlintraining gives this acidic cimment on nerds:

Amazing. They believe in advanced quantum physics AND Santa. Most ordinary people would just say "he doesn't exist" around the age of 9 and move on. But not geeks!

The Twelve Pains of Christmas

The Twelve Pains of Christmas.

1. Finding a Christmas trees
2. Rigging up the lights
3. Hangovers
4. Sending Christmas cards
5. Five months of Bills
6. Relatives
7. Charities
8. Children
9. Parking
10. "batteries not included"
11. Christmas TV Specials
12. Christmas Carols
    

Some People Take Games a Little Too Seriously

Some people can't play a game without declaring war. Here is Snow Fight from Newgrounds.

Jesus the Celebrity

I like the program TMZ. For unlike other gossip media there is no automatic assumption that celebrities deserve any respect at all. They, TMZ, merely follows passing parade with amusement.

Best line, the paparazzo sees Jesus carrying the cross.

pap:

Hey Jesus is that cross heavy, bro.

Jesus :

Now is not a good time.

Real Actors versus CGI Actors

With some many movie makers turning to CGI to have more control than could over real actors. This of course means war.

What's Wrong with the "New" Star Wars

The Craptracular Phantom Menace shocked and disappointed many fan boys. Here is the definite 70 minute review of why the first Star Wars prequel sucked sobadly.

Discovered on a slashdot thread, The Definitive Evisceration of The Phantom Menace *NSFW*.


Above is part one of seven. Below are links to the other 6 parts in the series.

part 2
part 3
part 4
part 5
part 6
part 7

Cat Vader

Darth Vader as a Cat, or Cat Vader.

Ninja Cat

Brains are Important

But
But
But Bender need brain for smart making.

Philip J Fry on the need for brains in
Futurama S02E014

New Ed Wood Film

Plan 9 Teaser Trailer from Darkstone Entertainment on Vimeo.

A remake of Ed Wood's Plan 9 From Outer Space is in production. Above is the trailer, here is the movie's site. I got the link from an AH.com thread, Ed Wood Returns.

Update
As Timbo points out a competent Ed Wood producing acceptable work is not Ed Wood. Ed Wood really cared about film and wanted to be a director. His desire and lack of skill made him an anti-hack. There are many people who can do good work but don't, they are hacks. The tragedy of Ed Wood is that he wanted to do good work but couldn't and didn't recognize when he didn't.

How to Describe a Baby

A Baby, a motherfucking rolypoly chubby cheeked shit machine.

Debra Morgan describing the generic baby, Dexter S03E03

The Honest Criminal

I just got out of jail. 6 years for aggravated assault and home invasion.

two bit criminal John Henry

He kills murderers. You didn't kill anyone, did you?

Debra Morgan

I, I gave this old guy a heart attack. Its not I was doing it on purpose. I, I used to hit retirement homes, communities. Snowbirds are easy targets. And I don't, I don't do that anymore, I did my time.

two bit criminal John Henry

Your mother must be so proud.

Special Agent Frank Lundy

Worries About Port Security

No cameras, no patrols, no dogs, with billions spent on homeland security it can't be as easy as a couple of snips.

Dexter breaking into the Port of Miami,
Dexter S01E12

Is a Murderous Agenda "Radical"

Just because a robot wants to kill humans that makes him a "radical".

Bender soft pedaling human killing in
Futurama S01E05

Endlessly Annoying David Caruso

If the definition of adventure is people having a really horrible time far, far away then this is why I hate CSI:Miami. Beyond the forensics procedural CSI:Maimi is filled with pretty people, cool people, witty people, people having too good a time, pretty annoying people. The intro of David Caruso's character giving a droll little one liner only inspires feeling of violence. Watch this video of bon mots from the crime scenes of CSI:Miami and feel the annoyance.

Secret Indiana Jones Warehouse found in Area 51

We have top people looking into it, top people.

One of the last lines in
Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Above image from Doctor Who Dreamland.

The Warriors of Feldspar

The "Warriors of Feldspar" are some sort of troll miniatures made for a game, Heroscope, produced by Wizards of the Coast. Wizards of the Coast is owned by Hasbro which also owns Avalon Hill. Avalon Hill is mainly reduced to producing Axis & Allies derivatives.

If I, Feldspar, had my Warriors I would save Avalon Hill from the evil clutches of Hasbro.

Hunting At the Prison Gate

Florida prisons kick free 25,000 inmates a year. They don't do that for me but it sure feels like it. I search for the ones who feel they beat the system. They're not hard to find.

Dexter hunting, Dexter S01E03

Follow The Great Leader Chairman Meow

I have a very low opinion of the Chicoms and other murderous purveyors of commie revolution. Their way leads to death. However if Nazis have good tailors commies have good advertising, see here for previous blog entry on chicom propaganda. The above is from "Obey the Kitty", a group with a store front at Cafe Press and a blog.

This was posted on AH.com thread, alternate world propaganda. Hendryk, who would know, commented that:

As it turns out, Mao in Chinese is actually a homophone for the word "cat".

Happy Violent Weather Forecast

Another beautiful Miami day, mutilated corpses with a chance for afternoon showers.


Dexter, S01E02

The Murderer as Artist

Blood splatter, when framed and displayed, looks a lot like abstract expressionism.

(still from Dexter S01E01)

Murder Porn on TV

There is something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you are in a new and daring section of Disney world.

Dahmerland.

Dexter in Dexter S01E01

Another Japanese House Designed for House Cats

Here is some more felinocentric Japanese architecture. The designers believe in the future houses will be made built for cats as much as for humans.